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阿嬤上法院
阿嬤上法院
律師如果沒有心理準備時,最好不要問阿嬤問題
在南方一個小鎮的法院開庭審理,檢查官傳喚他的第一位證人,一位阿嬤。
他走到阿嬤前面,問她:"瓊斯太太,你認識我嗎?"
阿嬤回答:"幹嘛? 我是認識你啊, 威廉斯先生. 我從你小時候就知道你了,
坦白說,你還真有點讓我失望。 你撒謊,欺騙你老婆,而且你操縱別人又在他們背後講壞話。 你自以為是號大人物,實際上你腦殘到根本不知道你連個小職員都不如。
是呀,我認識你。"
檢察官傻了。不知所措之下,就指了房間另一頭問說:
"瓊斯太太,那你認識被告律師嗎?"
阿嬤接著回答了,"幹嘛? 是呀,我也是從布萊德立先生年輕的時候就認識他了.
他懶,總是自我感覺良好,又喜歡喝酒。他和所有的人都處不好,而且他的法律業務是整個州裡面數一數二的差。更甭提他騙了他的老婆和三個不同的女人來往,其中一個是你的太太。
是呀,我認識他。"
被告律師幾乎掛了。
法官此時叫兩位律師過去,低聲的說:
"你們兩個白癡哪一個敢問她認不認識我的話,我就把你們兩個送上電椅。"
When Grandma Goes To Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecutor attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a bit disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngerster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quite voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
--
可以幫忙查句子的網頁:
http://english.stackexchange.com/
If a whole 'dollar' is divided into eight equal bits, then two bits are equal to a quarter. (兩毛五、低廉)
"Paper pusher" means "petty bureaucrat"; office workers who do paperwork;
someone who does nothing but push paper around on a desk.
(小公務員)
http://english.stackexchange.com ... t-paper-pusher-mean
我不喜歡別人擠牙膏從中間擠 --> 表達意見,還不至於無法容忍(intolerance)
我不允許有人在我家擠牙膏從中間擠 --> intolerance, 但還不一定bigoted (cf: bigotry)
我絕不允許在我家擠牙膏從中間擠這樣的事發生 --> bigoted |
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